It’s Complicated, But Not Impossible: Navigating Blind Spots in Coaching

I was recently introduced to Gideon Culman, MCC‘s Master Coach Collection podcast by Hannah Finrow, MCC Finrow. What a treasure trove! It’s been a wonderful opportunity to revisit some familiar faces and get to know new, impressive minds. I’ve started working my way through the back catalogue and chose an episode from two years ago featuring Adam Quiney. The conversation around blind spots in coaching really struck a chord.

Adam Quiney mentioned that the real challenge of a blind spot isn’t just that we can’t see it—it’s that we can’t see that we can’t see it. Our brain fills in the gaps, fooling us into thinking we’re aware of our areas for growth. This got me reflecting on my own blind spots, and Lyssa deHart, LICSW, MCC, BCC‘s insight, “where our relationships get the messiest is often when two blind spots collide,” (read here) added yet another layer.

In those messy moments, it’s tempting to put on our armour and defend ourselves, which only keeps the blind spots hidden. But what if we leaned into the discomfort instead? Michelle Brody, Ph.D.‘s talk at the Coaching.com Summit this year on “Owning Your Armor” (https://lnkd.in/ehtvmRdh) reminded me that staying present in that discomfort is key to growth.

It’s easier said than done. When things get messy, how do we turn the situation into an invitation to grow? David Whyte‘s words from his Three Sundays talk this week (https://lnkd.in/eqPBMrzf) echo in my mind:

How can I make this situation into an invitation to myself to grow?

And that brings me back to something my mother said a few months ago. She doesn’t talk very much anymore, living with the challenges of PSP, but at one point, when I was struggling to arrange a table in her room and said to her that it wasn’t easy, she replied: “If it were easy, everyone would do it.” That’s the most she had said for months, but even just thinking about it now, how deep was that!

And just look up how films have used “it’s complicated” in their scripts (https://lnkd.in/eDrmerfq).

Complicated doesn’t necessarily mean there’s an end point. It’s an invitation to work through something.

This reflection is an invitation to myself (and perhaps others) to stay open, embrace the discomfort, and allow ourselves to grow through the messiness.