Jennifer Garvey Berger asks an essential question: “How can our relationships make us bigger, more capable, and more loving, rather than smaller and more defensive?” in her post.
This resonates, particularly when I reflect on Tim Minchin’s recent conversation with Guardian journalist Eva Wiseman where he said that true happiness is often linked to making a meaningful contribution—not through grand gestures, but in the small acts that hold communities together.
Take Jennifer’s No Gunk in the Sink rule. It’s easy to overlook that last little bit of cleaning—just as we can overlook the emotional ‘gunk’ in our relationships. But what if we didn’t? What if we made a conscious effort to care about what others care about, even if it’s as simple as keeping the sink spotless? Sometimes, kindness is as practical as wiping away that ‘gunk.’
Tim Minchin’s point about kindness aligns beautifully here. Not every day calls for grand, sweeping changes. Sometimes, simply wiping the sink—or the slate—is enough. A small, respectful act that shows we care. Other days, we might give the sink a proper clean, using ‘Wiener Kalk’ and admiring the intricate pattern the water droplets leave behind, finding joy in a job well done.
In both cases, it’s about contributing meaningfully to those around us and respecting what matters to them. At home, the children know how to clean the kitchen ‘to my standard’, which is more than just a chore—it’s a sign of mutual respect. As Jennifer reminds us, “If you care about something, I’ll try my best to care about it too,” and I’m glad we try to foster this mindset in our home.
How can we apply this to our work and relationships? How are we making space for these small but significant acts of care?
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