Adam Quiney’s recent article, That Which You Judge, You Become, got me thinking: owning our needs instead of suppressing them. I was particularly struck by this line:
“Hey, I’m feeling unappreciated, and I would love some acknowledgment.”
It reminded me of a moment with my husband’s son. I was fuffing around, trying to manage something that wasn’t going well, and the kids were only semi-helpful. I found myself thinking, “that’s just what children do, they don’t want to help” while also believing “we’re a family, we should work together.”
As I bounced between these thoughts, I noticed something new—resentment creeping in. At that moment, I didn’t intentionally plan a shift but rather stumbled into trying something different. I approached child number two, seeking to understand his perspective but also sharing my need for help.
Unlike the impressive intentionality of Gladys from Adam’s article, my approach felt more accidental. Still, the response floored me: “If you need help, why don’t you just say that?”
In that moment, it was as if a door opened—a glimpse of how things could be when we express our needs instead of letting them build up unspoken.
It reminded me that while change is never simple, sometimes it starts with admitting our vulnerability and asking for what we need.
How often do we resist acknowledging our needs, believing we should be able to manage on our own? What would it look like to embrace that vulnerability and, more importantly, create a space where others feel comfortable doing the same?
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